Stresses

So I am just writing this to write, right now, It is the middle of the night, and only vampires and nocturnals look good at this time of night, hence the lack of face talking to you. I have been looking to Vlogging as a Chore lately. Something that I feel that I need to do tons and tons of planning over, when really it's pick up, press rec, and talk, then edit and upload. It shouldn't be difficult, but I am a Perfectionist.

Well, at least a partial perfectionist. Only sometimes do things actually need to be completely perfect. Which is when it comes to the videos, in editing, they need to be  perfect.... It is an absolute necessity that it needs to be perfectly edited. I mean who wants to watch a video that is just poorly put together? NO ONE that's who... I try to make my videos be without as much fault as I can, so people will actually click the replay button.
 Not watch the first few seconds and go to a completely different video. But I don't even know why I am stressing over it... When the time comes, I will do like 30 videos the day before I leave, there wont be some for like a week, and then there will be 30 again... Then I might come up with 1 a week... but I highly highly doubt it. I don't even know if the family I am staying with has a computer!!!!!!!

I feel like I'm over stressing, but then again, I AM LEAVING FOR A FOREIGN COUNTRY FOR 6 MONTHS. Which to me feels like something to stress over. Maybe I am over stressing, but who knows, I am so far into this trip and going and everything that I cannot take a step back and look at how huge this entire experience truly is...  I really hope at the end of this experience that I feel fulfilled and not like,

"oh, it's over, well, okay...." I want to be able to come back to the states, and to my high school and express the fact that I learned so much, that through this I am a greatly changed person, that in doing this, the world is now a greater place. But I don't know, I can't give an honest answer because it hasn't happened, and it is really late right now and I can't really sleep... ugh When I know, I will write it, or express it through the Vlogs...